I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
