Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
