I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
