Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
