he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ladies don't puke and tell
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
