Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
