So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
