Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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