i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
