He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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