I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
