Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
