1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
