If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
