when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
