i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
