i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
