I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
