Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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