JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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