I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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