I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
