Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
