why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
