i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
