One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
