I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
God I need to hump something, right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
