He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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