I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Drunk is not a location!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
