You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
