So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Vodka?
Forever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
