in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
