I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
