How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
