Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
