Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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