True but thats because hes a fetus.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
