I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
