yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
