Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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