Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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