What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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