Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
