I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am naked and annoyed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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