Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Alive.
So much puke
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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