ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
