Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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