Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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