My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
