So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Pants are for mortals
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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