Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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