YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This house was built for laser tag.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
