I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
