I think im going to throw up on grandma
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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