Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
