I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
