Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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