im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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