Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
